Safe Haven
by rosy0x
Summary: It has been three years since Ashley ran away from her old life. She is living a quiet life in a small town, working six days a week at a café, until someone else arrives in town for similar reasons.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfiction. It's slightly inspired by Nicolas Sparks' novel, "Safe Haven." I don't own the SON characters, obviously. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!**

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**Chapter 1**

I often feel alone. I know I can't say I'm really alone because my job forces me to meet different people every day. Yet, it's exactly how I feel like. Most of the time people don't notice me, I'm just a waitress like any other. I know it's exactly how I wanted it to be, the reason why I came here, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel alone. I feel this emptiness inside of me like something is missing, like something has always been missing.

This town has been good to me. I feel somewhat at home, at peace. It's been three years now since I came here. I've been working in this café since then, just washing tables, serving customers and ordering the latest addition to our menu from our chef, Ray. People come and go, they usually never look back when they leave. This place has no meaning to them, not like it does to the people living here. To us, it has everything we need.

I haven't had anyone in my life in close to three years, ever since I left my old life. My work colleagues, Katie, Susan and Ray, are all I have. Most of the time, we just chitchat about customers, the weather or the newest release at the small theaters in town. We're not really that close, we just work together, but they are like family to me. Ray owns the café, he's been great, giving me extra hours whenever he can. He always makes sure I eat, cooking me healthy meals when I'm at work. He's in his early fifties. His wife and teenage daughter were killed in a car accident a few years ago, long before I got here. I think somehow I remind him of his daughter, that's why he's been acting more like a dad than an employer.

I think I'm just here on earth to exist, I'm not really living, which is kind of depressing for a 25-year old. My weeks all look the same. When I'm done with my shift, I go home. Katie usually drives me. I rented a small house about 20 minutes from the café. It's not much but I've come to see it as home. It's my first house, the first one that really feels like my own.

So, every day I leave around 10 in the morning, walk to the café, serve customers and then go home around 9 or 10 at night. On my only day off of the week, I usually walk to town to do some groceries and laundry with the little money I have left after paying rent and bills. It's my routine, the one I've had for three years now. I can't say I didn't wish things were different. I wish I didn't have to run, that I didn't have to dye my hair or change my last name, or that I could own a drivers licence. But I have to accept the fact that I need to hide in order to be able to survive.

I'm filling up the salt and pepper shakers up front when I see Susan approach me. "Hey Ashley, when you're done with that, can you grab some napkins from the back?" she says.

I smile, nodding. Susan has been working here for 16 years. When I first started working here, she was the first person I met. She gave me some furniture she didn't need anymore, like a kitchen table, some chairs and a bed. It wasn't much but I was grateful. I arrived here with only my backpack after traveling for a couple of days. I wanted a fresh start away from everything. I didn't have any money so Susan was kind enough to help me as much as she could, while still trying to provide for herself and her two sons.

I put the salt and pepper shakers on the tables and make my way to the back of the café to grab the napkins Susan asked me. That's when I see her, sitting at table 10 next to the window. She looks different from most customers. Most of them are usually just passing by, having lunch or dinner before going back on the road. They make sure the children eat quickly so that they can make it to their destination before sunset. They all seem in a hurry. She's sitting alone, enjoying her cappuccino and reading what seems like a magazine. She doesn't seem stressed or in a hurry. It's usually not the kind of café where people go to read.

I bring the napkins to the front and make my way to her table. "Is everything alright? Can I get you anything?" I ask her, smiling.

She looks up from her magazine, her blue eyes staring into mine, "Actually, can I get a blueberry muffin? I was looking at them earlier, they look delicious," she replies nervously. I take a second to look at the magazine, it looks like a photography magazine. So, she's a photographer? I would have never guessed.

"Of course! They're very popular." I smile and leave to get her muffin. When I come back, she's looking out the window, thoughtful.

"So you're a photographer?" I ask, making small talk. She looks at me, startled.

"Huh?"

I point at the magazine, "It's a photography magazine, so I figured you must be a photographer."

She smiles. "Ah, yes. I am actually, in Chicago."

"Oh, so you're a long way from home." I reply, hoping I'm not being intrusive.

"Yeah, well, yeah…" She starts, nervously.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound intrusive. It's just that most people are usually in a hurry to eat and leave." I laugh.

She bites her bottom lip and turns to the window. "I don't know, I like it. It's quiet, peaceful."

I nod.

"Ashley! Can you get table 8?" I hear Katie ask behind me. I look at her and nod.

"Well, I'll let you go back to your magazine. Let me know if you need anything." I say and she turns to me, smiling. She thanks me softly. I make my way to table 8, wishing that I could have talked to her for a little while longer, mostly to figure out why she's here.

After attending to table 8 and to the three families who walked in at the same time, I notice that she's walking to the front, ready to pay. I stand in the back of the café, looking at her, intrigued. Her blonde hair is in a loose bun and she has what seems like a small photography bag hanging over her shoulder. She's wearing jeans, a white tank top and flip flops. It's in that moment that her beauty really strikes me. The sun is shining on her through the front window and she's laughing at some joke Katie must have made. She looks beautiful.

I don't walk to the front to thank her or to join in on what Katie is talking to her about. I just stand there watching, unable to move. I wait until she walks out of the café, knowing that I will never see her again. They all leave this place anyway, there's no reason to stay or come back. I'm here because I was running and it's the perfect place to hide. But she probably has somewhere to be, just like everybody else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for your reviews :) I hope you enjoy this second chapter!**

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**Chapter 2**

That night, I go home after my shift, still thinking about her. On the drive home, Katie asks me twice if I'm ok, telling me I'm more quiet than usual. I nod, replying that I'm just tired. I just can't get her out of my head. Something was definitely different about her. Most people don't end up in a place like this for no reason.

This small South Carolina town is pretty and peaceful but it doesn't have much to offer. Its only attribute is that it is located near an important road for tourists going to the beach. Other than that, it is home to a few hundred people, living peacefully in their countryside houses. The downtown area has a small theater, a grocery store, a few restaurants and a couple of stores owned by locals. There's also a farmer market that takes place every weekend at a public square near the town's only church. It is a very authentic city with an American flag hanging on every house and a mass every Sunday where the community reunites.

I can't say I'm a very religious person, but I usually go when I have my Sunday off. I really just want to fit in, to belong here in this community. It was hard at first, with everyone knowing each other. Most people are born here and end up spending their whole lives and dying here. They know I'm not from here, that I was born in a big city, but they finally accept me. I'm not an outsider anymore. They know I'm just here to make a life for myself and they have come to accept that. They see me as one of their own now and I'm very grateful for that. It's all I could ever ask for.

I go to bed that night thinking about my life for the past three years. It hasn't been easy. I had a long way to go when I first got here but I've managed to do good for myself. I'm really proud of how far I've gone. I'm not the scared girl anymore, the one who arrived here by bus late at night three years ago. I had very little with me, just some clothes in an old backpack. I didn't even have an ID. I still don't, I can't get one. I left everything in Boston, along with my past. That night, I got a room at a bed & breakfast with the $43 I had in my pocket. It was all I could save up before leaving without anyone noticing. The next day, I went to the café I had seen on the side of the road when I arrived by bus and that's when Ray hired me. He was nice enough to give me an advance on my first pay so that I could rent a place to stay. I was, and still am, very grateful to him for doing that. Without the café and Ray, I would have most likely ended up sleeping outside on my second night here. I fall asleep thinking about my first week in my house and how little I had back then. I still don't have that much but I was able to paint and decorate the place so that it would feel like home. And it really does, more than Boston ever felt like.

IOIOIOIOIOI

I wake up the next day around 8 am, the sun shining through my bedroom window. I get up and jump in the shower, the warm refreshing water waking me up.

When I'm done showering and dressing up, I grab an apple from the kitchen to eat on my way to the café. I usually don't keep much in the fridge since I eat at the café most of the time.

I make my way out, making sure I lock the door carefully. I live on the outskirt of town. I wanted a house where no one would be able to find me and I came to like its location through the years. It is very quiet, surrounded by trees and I don't have any close neighbors.

I feel good today even though I didn't get much sleep. I feel relaxed. It's a really nice day, sunny and warm. Not too hot, god knows South Carolina gets hot in June. I wasn't used to that kind of weather at first seeing as Boston doesn't get as hot in the summer. But I got used to it after a while. It feels great today, there's a small breeze.

"Hey Katie!" I say as I enter the café, smiling.

"Hey Ashley! Nice day, isn't it?" She says and I nod, making my way to the back. I wave at Ray who's in the kitchen, probably baking some muffins and other pastries.

I put my purse in the back and get my apron. I grab a muffin from the kitchen before making my way back up front.

"Susan isn't here?" I ask Katie, taking a bite of my muffin.

"No, I think her son is sick or something. She called half an hour ago." She replies, getting the tables ready for the first customers of the day who would walk in soon.

I start getting the register ready.

"Hey Katie… that girl yesterday… the one with the blonde hair… what do you think her deal was?" I ask nonchalantly, hoping she wouldn't see through my question.

"Which one? The one you were staring at when she was paying?" She says and I blush.

"Sure, whatever." I say, not looking up.

"I think she's from Chicago, she said she was new in town. She was really nice, wasn't she? I saw you two talking." Katie says, smirking. "You know… when you got her a muffin while she was sitting in _my_ section?"

I look up from the register. "Get that smirk off your face, I was just asking… And plus, you were busy and she looked like she wanted something to eat with her cappuccino." I know I'm on the defensive, but Katie really was busy.

"Sure, whatever you say, Ash." We're interrupted by the doorbell. Katie welcomes the couple who just walked in and gets them a table.

Another family comes in. And there goes lunch rush hour.

IOIOIOIOIOI

It's 3 pm and I'm already tired. It's been a crazy day, probably because school is out and the vacations are starting. I get back inside after taking my break, having just enough time to drink a lemonade and relax a little. Isn't there anything better than a lemonade when it's ninety degrees outside?

That's when I notice her again, sitting at table 8.

I see Katie, smirking at me. I notice the café is almost empty, there's only her and an old couple sitting up front. Table 8 is in my section, Katie must have sat her there.

I approach her.

"You're still here…" I say, surprised and nervous.

She looks at me and smiles. "Shouldn't I be?"

"No… I mean, yes. It's just that a lunch here is usually enough for most people." I laugh and she does too. It has to be the cutest sound I've ever heard. Her eyes are warm, honest.

"Well, I like it. It's quiet and the people are really nice. I think I might stay here for a while." She says.

"It does feel like home when you get used to the place." I admit and she nods.

I look down. "Can I… um… get you anything?" I ask, politely, trying to get back to Ashley the waitress, instead of Ashley socializing with customers. She's just here for a while anyway, she will get back to her life in Chicago soon.

She nods, clearing her throat. "Can I get um… a cappuccino? And maybe a muffin?"

"Sure! We have cranberry muffins today, they're amazing. I definitely recommend them. They're cranberry and lemon actually, fresh from this morning." I say really fast.

She laughs. "I'll have that then, that sounds really good." She smiles and I can't help but stare into her eyes.

I smile back. "I'll be right back with your order."

I grab her cappuccino and muffin and walk back to her table. "There you go."

I see her eyes look down at my nametag and back up at me. "Thank you, Ashley," she says softly.

I smile. Or is that a blush? I hope it's not a blush. "You're welcome," I say, clearing my throat. I leave her alone, getting a table for the couple who just walked in.

I take their order as they seem in a hurry. I can still feel my hands shaking from when she called me by my name. I look up from my order book when the woman hesitates between the chicken souvlaki and the salmon. I catch the girl's eyes as she's staring at me from her table. She looks down at her book, blushing from being caught. I smirk.

"I'll have the salmon, it's healthier. Can I get that with a side of vegetables?" I'm brought back to reality as the woman finally makes her choice. I nod, writing down their order.

"I'll be right back," I say, smiling at them.

I hurry and go to the kitchen, leaning on the wall where no one can see me, trying to calm my nerves. Well no one can see me but Ray, of course, as he spends his day in the kitchen. He smiles at me, asking me what I'm doing.

"I'm just um…" I blush and shake my head, feeling stupid. "Nothing. I'm just here for an order. A chicken avocado on rye and salmon with a side of vegetables." I say rapidly before thanking him. He grins, seeing right through me. I blush again, getting a water pitcher.

I make my way back up front and start filling up glasses of water on tables where there are customers.

I notice she's putting her book back in her purse, standing up. I'm filling up the last glass of water when I see her make her way to the register. That's when I see Katie smile at me and go in the kitchen. That sneaky little brat!

I get to the register as she's taking out her wallet.

"Here's your receipt," I say and she takes it. She takes out her credit card and hands it to me. I process the transaction and hand her the receipt for her to sign. While she does that, I peek at her card.

I hand her back the card and she smiles. I want to talk to her but I don't know what to say without sounding intrusive. "I hope you enjoyed that muffin!" I say randomly. I hope you enjoyed that muffin? Really? Where did that come from?

"I…" She clears her throat. "I did, thanks, it was delicious." She smiles.

I noticed she smiles a lot. It's funny because I can't seem to stop smiling either.

"Good… good." I say, nervously. "Well, I hope you have a nice day."

"You too. Thanks, Ashley." She says. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I smile, or is that a grin? She's on her way out when I say, "I'll see you tomorrow, Spencer!"

She turns back, grinning, realizing that I must have looked at her card. We look foolish for a second, grinning at each other, before she makes her way out.

IOIOIOIOIOI

The day seems endless after that. At some point after dinner rush hour, Katie mentions that I look happier than usual. I smile, blushing. What can I say? I knew this morning that it would be a great day.


	3. Chapter 3

**I should have realized that naming a character Katie, like in the book/movie, would be confusing. I apologize for that. The Katie in my story has nothing to do with the Katie from the book and movie. The story is only slightly inspired by Nicholas Sparks' Safe Haven, I only took the title and the main storyline in the sense that Ashley is hiding and running from her past, but it won't be the same story. Just wanted to clear that up.**

**That being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)**

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**Chapter 3**

It's just another day at Ray's Café. I'm sitting on a stool in the kitchen, eating scrambled eggs, while Ray is chopping vegetables for today. We're chatting about the weather, the upcoming events in town and Susan's son, who's been sick for a week now. He has pneumonia so Ray gave her a paid vacation to stay with him. Did I mention Ray was the best?

I finish my breakfast as Ray finishes getting the kitchen ready. I love my job, I love the people I work with, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to work this much. It's really nice outside today and I feel happier than usual. I can't wait until my day off. I think I might spend it at the lake if it's as nice as today, I haven't been there in over a year.

For some reason, I feel nervous today. I breathe, trying to calm my nerves. I know she's going to be here again today, just like every day for the past week. We don't talk much, but I know she's stealing glances at me once in a while and I do the same. I like the way she's so concentrated when she's reading, or how she stares at me when I'm taking orders from other customers, thinking I don't notice, or how she bites her bottom lip when she's deciding what to order.

I wish I could talk to her more but I always feel like my questions are intrusive, that it is never the right question or the right time. I remember when I first got here, I didn't want anyone asking me questions about where I came from and what I was doing here. I'm not saying she's here for the same reasons but I can't help but wonder. She hasn't mentioned anything about her life in Chicago, other than the fact that she's a photographer.

Katie is getting tables ready as the first customers of the day come in. I put my apron on, getting ready to start my day, just like every other day for the past 3 years.

IOIOIOIOIOI

It's quieter than usual today. Ray is not happy because he prepared too much food. He hopes it will pick up for dinner. I hope it will too because Katie and I are usually not in a good mood when Ray isn't.

Spencer walks in, waving at me shyly. I calm down as soon as I see her. I'm still nervous, but a good kind of nervous, the kind that feels more like butterflies. I look at my watch and see that it's 11:30. She's here earlier than usual. I smile at her as I get closer. She's wearing denim shorts with a navy tank top, her blonde hair in a loose bun. She looks really cute. She looks relaxed and happy. She's tanner than she was when she first got here. Well it is true that it is sunnier than in Chicago after all.

I lead her to her table, near a window, where I know she enjoys sitting.

"You're here early," I tell her.

She smiles. "I felt like having lunch here today."

I tell her that it's quiet today, so she did pick a good day. I get her a menu and proceed to tell her what is good for lunch. I give her some time and tell her that I'll be right back with water.

When I get back, she's still looking at the menu. I fill her glass of water.

"I'm going to get a ham and Swiss panini, I think," she says.

I nod. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

She shakes her head, telling me water is fine, and I nod. She's hesitant, like she wants to say something. I look at her, expectantly. I see her shake her head, or shrug? Or both at the same time? I just know that by the time I realize it, she's already back to staring out the window, like she does every day. That, or she reads a book, but I don't see any with her today. I see her hands shaking on the table, she's trying to calm them without me noticing. I wish I could take them in my own hands to calm her.

I know we want to tell each other things. I can feel it, this connection with her. I know we would talk to each other if we could just let our guards down for just a second. I don't even know her but this connection is something I've never felt before. The glances, the smiles, the small touches when I hand her back her credit card… it feels different, new, and somewhat overwhelming.

I sigh and leave her alone with her own thoughts.

IOIOIOIOIOI

About half an hour later, when I'm done getting orders for a family, I notice that she finished eating. I get to her table and fill her glass with water, wondering what random question I could ask her, hoping to spend just another minute close to her.

"So, are you enjoying your stay here?" I ask, smiling.

I know, it's lame, but it's the only question I could think of.

She doesn't seem like she minds as she nods. "I really am. I like how peaceful it is. I hiked up the mountain yesterday, the view was just amazing."

I know what she means. The view is breathtaking. "It is, isn't it? I love it up there."

She smiles. "Have you been living here long? If you don't mind me asking. It's just that… I can tell you're not from here."

I nod, looking down. "About 3 years now." I reply, hoping she doesn't ask the question I'm dreading. I'm not ready for her to ask it just yet.

She smiles, like she understands. "Well, for all it's worth, I understand why you chose this place."

I smile back. Her smile is contagious. I stare into her eyes for a second before I'm interrupted by the doorbell. I excuse myself to sit the people who just walked in at their table.

IOIOIOIOIOI

As she's leaving after paying, she looks like she wants to ask something again. I look at her, intensely, expectantly. My eyes are silently letting her know that it's okay, that she can ask me anything and that I'm here, even though we don't really know each other

It takes a few seconds before she finally speaks. "Would you… um, like to get coffee sometime? Maybe on your day off?" She asks quietly, blushing. "It's just… I don't really know anyone in town."

She's really cute when she's nervous. I really wish I could understand where all these thoughts about her are coming from.

"That would be great." I grin, my nose crinkling. She smiles wider. "I have Wednesday off." Two days, I can last two days before this… date? I don't think it's a date. It is two new friends just hanging out together, getting coffee. I don't think we're friends yet… But anyway, she's new in town, she just wants to meet people, I tell myself.

"Great!" She grins. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

I smile, nodding. "Of course. I'll be here… as usual."

She turns to me one more time, waving shyly at me, before she heads out, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I see Katie approach me.

"Seems like you've made a new friend, Ash." She says, smiling at me.

I blush. "There's just something about her, I can't explain it… We're getting coffee on Wednesday." I'm still staring at the door, the one Spencer walked out from a few minutes ago.

Katie nods and puts her hand on my arm. "Just be careful, Ashley. I heard she was staying at Lina's B&B and it's not a long term reservation. I don't want you to get heartbroken when she leaves." I wonder who Katie heard that from. Probably Patty at the grocery store, she's friend with Lina.

I shrug. "It's just coffee…"

"It's never just coffee and you know that," she replies before bringing some orders to customers sitting in her section. I know that she means well, that she really cares about me, but it is really just coffee.

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**Don't forget to review the chapter! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for your reviews! I really appreciate each and every one of them. And also thanks to everyone who is following the story or has favorited it :)**

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**Chapter 4**

The next day went by really slowly. It was my sixth day of work in a row and I couldn't wait for my day off. I would like to say it was because I was tired but I'll be honest and admit that I couldn't wait to get coffee with Spencer.

She came to the restaurant around 2 p.m., ordering her usual cappuccino and muffin. We talked for a bit, just chitchatting as usual.

When she left, she gave me the number where to reach her "in case I couldn't make it or something." She seemed nervous as she said that. I reassured her that I would be there as I was looking forward to getting coffee with her. She smiled and that made me smile. We agreed to meet at a coffee shop near the library around 1 p.m. and then she was gone.

I couldn't wait to sit down with her and have time to talk, find out who she is, and just… talk. It's all I've been wanting to do lately. I don't really have any friends here, other than the people I work with. I haven't hung out with anyone since I got here, and the idea of spending time with her is making me really nervous but also very excited.

IOIOIOIOIOI

I wake up on Wednesday feeling happy and relaxed because it's my day off. I feel peaceful for a few minutes, enjoying the morning sun coming through my window, before I remember that it's my day off, and that means that I'm meeting Spencer later. My heart starts beating faster and I try to calm my nerves. I breathe in and out, telling myself that it's going to be ok. We already get along really good. We've been seeing each other every day at the Café for the past week and we've been talking each time. I don't know why today would be any different.

I get up, heading for the shower. I look at myself in the mirror and laugh at my bed hair. I start the shower and get in, feeling the warm water hitting my body. I suppress a moan at how refreshing it feels.

When I'm done showering, I put on some clothes. I go to the kitchen and pour myself a bowl of cereal. I wish I had something fancier to eat but that will have to do. Plus, it's a good thing I at least have some milk left.

I haven't been this excited about getting coffee with someone in a long time. I don't even think I've ever felt this way. I breathe, trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach as I think about Spencer. I put my empty bowl in the sink. I can't help but wonder what Spencer is doing right now. I wonder if she's as nervous as I am.

I go to my room and open my closet. I need to find something to wear, something casual… but not too casual, right?

IOIOIOIOIOI

It's almost one and I'm on my way to the coffee shop. It feels really nice outside. I should have gone for a run this morning, it would have felt good. I'll probably go tonight.

As I get closer, I feel the butterflies again. They really won't leave me alone this morning! I breathe in and out. It'd be fair to say that I'm really nervous.

I take a deep breath before stepping into the coffee shop. I see her, sitting in the corner near a window. She's looking outside, tapping her fingers on the table. She turns to see who walked in and her face lights up when she sees me. I'm pretty sure mine does too.

I can feel my hands shaking. I hate how this really feels like a date. Well, I don't _hate_ it, but you know…

She looks amazing. Her blonde hair is down, waving naturally. In a bold move, she gets up to greet me and gives me a hug.

I smile, hugging her back. She smells amazing, like vanilla mixed with lilies.

She sits back and I do the same.

She smiles at me. "I'm glad you came."

"Of course… I mean we've been talking every day at the Café, so this is nice." I say, lamely.

She nods, smiling still. "I don't really… do this. Ask people to go for coffee, I mean. But I don't really know anyone in town and I really enjoy talking to you."

I smile, nodding.

"So, you've been living here for 3 years, right?" She says. I feel my heart beats faster.

I nod. "Yeah, it's crazy how time has gone by really fast. I love this place, I can't really see myself living anywhere else."

"I know what you mean." She says and looks hesitant for a few seconds. She bites her bottom lip before asking, "Where did you move from?"

I clear my throat, looking out the window, sighing. This is the first time I look away from her since I got here. I know she can sense that I'm uncomfortable.

"Boston, actually." I reply, still looking out the window. I turn to her and her smile is gone.

"I'm sorry, Ashley, I get really curious sometimes." She apologizes and I shake my head.

"Don't worry about it," I say and get up. I look at her, my smile back on my face. "Let's just start by getting coffee. What would you like?"

"Oh, I can…" She starts getting her wallet. I shake my head, letting her know that it's on me. If it wasn't a date before, it most definitely is now. "Ok, well, I'll just get a cappuccino." She smiles and thanks me softly.

I order a latte and a cappuccino and bring them to our table. She thanks me again.

I start drinking my latte and smile at her behind the mug.

"I'm really sorry about before," she says quietly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

I shake my head again. "You didn't, I promise. I'm just… I haven't talked to anyone about my past… before I got here. I don't mean to be distant or uncomfortable, I just..."

She nods, staring intensely into my eyes. It makes me feel nervous, shy. "Don't worry, I understand," she starts, putting her hand on my arm. It's like electricity the moment her hand touches my arm. "We all have stuff we'd rather not talk about, right?"

I nod, unable to form words. Her hand is insanely distracting.

She continues, "Just know that I'm here if you want to talk. I'd really like for us to be friends." She sits back and her hand is gone. I suppress the sigh that almost comes out of my mouth.

"I'd like that too," I smile. "And thank you."

She takes a sip of her cappuccino after blowing on it as it still looks hot. She's looking at me while she does that. Her stare, the way she looks at me, I've never experienced that before. She just looks deep into my eyes and it's like I can tell what she's thinking, what she wishes she could say. It's too soon though, I tell myself.

"I'm staying at Lina's Bed & Breakfast right now, but I was thinking about getting a place that's a little more permanent." She says and I smile, happy to hear that she's thinking about staying for a little while longer. "Any idea where I could stay?"

I smile and start telling her about a few apartments I have seen on rent recently. One by the library and the other one a little further south, closer to the main road.

We talk about what she likes to do in her free time and what she's been doing here during the day. She tells me how she's been going up the mountain to take pictures. She found a trail in the forest near the mountain three days ago. She walked for two hours before realizing it wasn't really going up. She ended up in a clearing and spent the afternoon sitting on the grass, taking pictures of deer and birds.

I couldn't help but laugh at her story, asking her how she didn't realize it wasn't going up the mountain. She blushes, shrugging. She tells me she really enjoyed the clearing and will probably go back soon. I smile.

I look at my watch, it's almost 3 p.m. We've been talking for two hours and I really don't want this day to end.

"Oh, do you have somewhere to be?" She asks.

I shake my head. "Not at all. I was just curious." I smile. "I really enjoy spending time with you, I kinda don't want it to end... I um, haven't really hung out with anyone in the past couple of years, I missed it."

I'm sure she sees sadness in my eyes. She nods. "Well, we can do it again sometime if you'd like. I know I would love to."

It's what I needed to hear. I smile and reply that I would love that.

I look outside, it's nice and sunny. I feel brave for a second, just long enough to let a question slip, one I wouldn't have normally asked, "Would you like to go somewhere with me?"

I'm feeling unsure for a second, telling myself that it's too soon, that I shouldn't have asked that. But her smile makes my insecurity go away.

She nods, smiling, and stands up. "Come on!" She says.

I laugh and follow her out the door.

* * *

**I hope you don't hate me for ending the chapter this way! It just felt right :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the delay, I've been busy writing papers. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

We've been walking in a comfortable silence for the past ten minutes. I'm just content being here with Spencer and she looks like she's enjoying herself as much as I am. She's been stealing glances at me once in a while and I have been doing the same, a blush covering our faces every time we get caught by the other.

To be honest, I don't know what made me ask her to come with me but I really didn't want this day to end. She seems to be enjoying our town so much, she should know about this place. I really want to share it with her.

I start walking along the railroad tracks, intending to cross the bridge. I turn to look at her, making sure she's following me.

I stop when I see that she isn't and turn to her.

"Are you sure that's safe?" She asks, unsure. I chuckle.

"I heard that there hasn't been a single train on that railroad in almost fifteen years. They don't come this way anymore." I reassure her. My answer doesn't seem to convince her.

"You promise?" She says, shyly, biting her bottom lip.

I nod. "I promise you're safe with me. Come on." I say, reaching out my hand for her to take.

She nods, taking my hand, holding it firmly.

We cross the bridge, walking as close to the railing as possible. There might not be any train on these tracks but it doesn't mean I'll take the risk. Spencer is right behind me, my hand still holding hers.

We come near the end of the bridge and I turn to the left, walking down a small path along the river. Trees are surrounding us now and it's peaceful. She's walking next to me. I didn't know whether I should let her hand go or not, so we're still holding hands. She doesn't seem to mind though.

She looks at me, smiling. "Are you going to kill me?" She asks.

I laugh. "If I really wanted to kill you, I wouldn't do it in the middle of the afternoon during daylight."

She laughs and I grin at her. "We're almost there," I say.

We arrive at a place where the river is wider than it is closer to town. It's almost like a small lake. The view is breathtaking. There's a rock on the side of the river, large enough for both of us to sit on. That's where I usually sit when I come here by myself.

I let go of her hand, and sit down. She does the same.

The sun is reflecting on the river. There's a small abandoned watermill, it was probably already there a hundred years ago. Its reflection on the river makes it seem as if there are two of them.

It's quiet, all we can hear is nature: crickets, toads and all sorts of other critters. The other side of the river is filled with cattails. There are two deer on the other side, looking at us, sensing us. They turn away when they realize we're not there to disturb them.

I turn to her and I see that she's staring ahead, admiring the view.

She turns to me and I smile at her, not even trying to hide the fact that I was staring. She smiles back, tilting her head.

"This place is amazing," she says and I nod.

"I like to come here sometimes, it's peaceful. It's only me and nature," I reply and she nods.

"I love that. Nature, I mean." She starts, looking at the deer and playing with her nails. "That's what I miss the most when I'm in Chicago. Everything in a city is made of concrete and so bland. And the people... they're always busy, running to their next meeting."

I nod. "I know what you mean. Boston was the same."

She nods. She knows I'm not going to say more about my life in Boston and she doesn't push it. I'm thankful. I'm sure she knows I'll share it with her when I'm ready.

IOIOIOIOIOI

We've been talking on and off for a while now, probably an hour. I'm laying down on my back, my head on the vest she was carrying. She was nice enough to offer it when I laid down. I'm looking at the sky, the clouds. Once in a while there's a bird passing by. She's sitting next to me, leaning back on her hands.

"How long ago do you think they built that watermill?" She says, looking at it.

I raise my head a little to look at it. "I don't know… Probably a century ago? Maybe more?" I reply, leaning back, putting one hand under my head. "It's one of the thing I like about this place. I like to sit here and imagine this place back in the 1900s. There was probably a family living nearby, all dressed in 1900s clothing, working in the fields all day. The mother had to do chores and take care of the younger children. She went to the fields once a day to bring lunch for the father and the older children. Life was easy, no large cities, no technology, nothing. Just them, the crops and their children."

She chuckles and turns to me. "You have a vivid imagination. I can't imagine this being a field, what with all the trees around here."

I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe he planted them so he could hide this place, so that someone would find it years later."

She chuckles. "Maybe."

IOIOIOIOIOI

The deer are gone and this place has gotten even more quiet if that's even possible. I'm sitting, leaning back on my hands, Spencer's head on my lap. I don't know how this happened, to be honest, but it did and it feels nice.

She turns her head to look up at me. "What did you dream of becoming when you were little?"

I take a minute to think about her question. I can do this, I can answer this question. It's not related to the more recent part of my past, the one I'm trying to erase from my memory, so I can do it. I had a pretty great childhood.

"I wanted to be a firefighter," I reply. "I dreamed of dressing up like them, going up the ladder or running inside houses on fire to save people."

She smiles at me. "Really? You wanted to be a firefighter?"

I nod, chuckling. "My dad was a firefighter and he was my best friend. I really looked up to him. I wanted to do everything he did."

Her smile fades and she knows in that moment that he passed away. "I'm sorry."

I shake my head. "Don't be sorry. It was a long time ago." I reply and she looks at the sky. I miss her eyes when they're not looking at me. "What about you?"

She looks like she's hesitating for a second. "I wanted to be a doctor," she starts. "Well, I don't even think that was my dream, it was my mom's. She was a doctor and she would buy me all kinds of toys related to doctors and hospitals. She was trying to get me to want to be a doctor."

I nod, understanding. She continues, "All throughout high school, my mom would force me to study, days and nights, making sure I was a straight A student. But there's only one thing I really wanted."

I look at her, curiously. She must feel my eyes on her because she turns to look at me. "I really wanted a camera, just one camera. I went to see a Dorothea Lange exhibit when I was in 7th grade and I fell in love with the way she captured the Great Depression. You can tell what the people are feeling or thinking just by looking into their eyes, and that's amazing."

I look at her intensely, our eyes lock together for a second before she looks back at the sky. I want to say something, anything, but I can't seem to find the right words.

"I saved up for four years to buy my first reflex camera and signed up for a class in college. My mother didn't know about any of it. She thought all I cared about was going to med school," She chuckles.

"What happened?" I say, curiously.

She closes her eyes and I can see that the memory is painful. She doesn't reply. I take her hand, giving it a small squeeze, softly letting her know that it's alright and that I will listen when she's ready. She nods.

IOIOIOIOIOI

We've been quiet for a while now, just enjoying each other's presence. We're laying down side by side, our hands slightly touching. We didn't share more about our past after this conversation. I notice that the sun is setting and that it will be dark soon.

"We should probably head back," I say softly, not wanting to cut our time short but it'll be harder to get back if it's dark.

She nods, standing up. I'm about to stand up when she holds her hand out to help me up. I take it and get up. I don't release it; instead, I intertwine my fingers with hers. I look at her and she's smiling, looking down at our hands. It makes me smile as well.

We walk in silence for a few minutes, before she speaks. "Thanks for sharing this place with me."

"You're welcome. Thanks for coming with me. I had the best afternoon." She smiles at me and I grin, my nose crackling.

We're almost near the B&B she's staying at. I feel happy just walking with her even if we're not talking. I wish this day didn't have to end. I want to ask her out to dinner considering she's probably hungry too, but I feel like this might be too soon. We've already spent the whole day together and I'm not even sure if this was a date. But we've been holding hands, friends don't hold hands like that.

I'm debating whether to ask her out to dinner or not when she stops walking. I notice we're in front of the B&B.

She hesitates, biting her bottom lip. She looks adorable. We stare at each other and I can feel my heart beating in my chest.

I'm about to speak when she does first. "I'm hungry and I would really like to have dinner with you, but I feel like this is too soon."

I nod, looking down at my feet, before she continues. "I don't know what this is… I really feel comfortable with you and I don't want this day to end but we've only just met a week ago,"

I look at her and I can see in her eyes that she really feels bad.

"Don't worry about it, Spencer, really."

"How about you give me a few days to find a place to stay and get settled and I'll cook dinner for you?" She's nervous, I can feel it in her voice.

She wants to cook me dinner? I don't think anyone has ever wanted to do that for me before. Let's just say that no one cared enough in my old life, in Boston. Not since my dad passed away anyway.

I'm lost in my thoughts when she speaks again, "I'm sorry, maybe this is too soon. I just… I probably misread what we have, I'm sorry." She apologizes.

"No!" I say, a little bit louder than intended. "No… you didn't." I say softly, taking her hand. "I would love to."

She blushes, her smile back on her face. "It's a date then."

I smile shyly. What is this girl doing to me? Hell, I've never even been with a girl. I know I like girls as well, I thought about it a lot in college, but then I met Kevin and well… that was it.

"Thanks for today, I had an amazing time," she says, caressing my hand with her thumb, our fingers still intertwined. She gets closer and hugs me. I instantly hug her back, breathing her in. After our day out, she still smells amazing. I feel the butterflies in my stomach, making me feel alive.

"I had a great time too," I say and she steps away. I already miss her in my arms. "Will I see you at the Café tomorrow?"

She smiles. "Of course. I wouldn't miss it."

I smile back at her. We say goodbye and I wait until she's inside to leave.

I miss her the minute she's gone. A million thoughts are running through my mind as I walk back home. I wonder if I should have asked her over to my place for dinner. I must admit that it is a little early for that.

IOIOIOIOIOI

I get home twenty minutes later. I put some leftovers from the Café in the microwave and eat in the living room, watching the news.

I start getting ready for bed, seeing as it's almost 9 p.m. I wish I had more than one day off during the week. I know I really need the money, mostly for rent, bills and because I'm trying to save up enough in case I need to run again someday. But if I had a second day off during the week, I could spend it with Spencer…

I lay in bed, thinking about the day we just had. I smile at the thought of us holding hands and at the way she looked at me as we talked, sitting on that rock. I'm pretty sure I look at her the exact same way. I felt drawn to her the moment I laid eyes on her at the Café. I hope someday I will be able to share with her the reason why I'm here, why I'm running. I hope she'll be able to do the same. She might share more about her past than I do right now, but I know there's something she's hiding, just like I am. I know she's here for a reason and I hope we'll be able to let our guards down and talk to each other about it.

I have trouble finding sleep, thoughts still racing through my mind.

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